Turiya

I asked about something called Turiya in a group on Facebook recently. The reason I asked about it, is because someone called it "4th consciousness", and someone else said it's "an ongoing stream of awareness, even throughout your sleep" and it made me think of something that happened around the time of my awakening.

I'd been living in solitude out in the rainforest for some years, and at the time I was in the process of 'spiritual autolysis'. I thought I needed a break, and to be around people, so I went to a party in the city. I malfunctioned, thought I had lost my mind, couldn't interact. Broke down. I'd cracked, and the last piece seemed to fall away in an entirely apocalyptic manner.

For weeks after that my consciousness was different. It was like a new state of consciousness. I stopped writing out the autolysis because it was on automatic pilot in my head, 24/7, and completely detached. There WAS an ongoing stream of awareness, even throughout my sleep, relating to Turiya as it had been described to me. Images of a scorched earth. The line between asleep and awake was gone. Complete lucidity, wide awake even in sleep, in my dreams. Not lucid dreaming, which happens quite frequently, something completely different. Every moment clear as a bell. I felt like my mind - that being, that everything - had been ripped right open. it was incredible, intense, and exhausting, and I was utterly gobsmacked by it all and often on the verge of tears. My body rushed in big waves of energy.

I had this sensation that in my compulsion to "gaze at the moon", I had leaned too far out the window and was falling through the abyss. The thin fabric separating "me" from "reality" had been poked at until it had ripped. This is not just a metaphor, this was the physical sensation. At times I was extremely scared, and at times I thought it was never going to stop and I had broken my brain. But as I let go of fear and resistance I realised, "this too shall pass". And it did.

I realise all this probably has just as much or as little to do with 'enlightenment' as anything else, and I'm not sure how much it has to do with Turiya either, but I am really curious as to whether anyone else has also experienced or heard of anything like this before...

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